Any wedding venue worth their salt has a stuffed giraffe hanging from the ceiling, right?
Aynhoe Park. Wowzers! What. A. Place.
It’s like a cross between a Damien Hirst exhibition and something out of an episode of The Avengers. The epitome of British eccentricity and extravagance, Aynhoe boggles you at every corner, from the taxidermied polar bear in flying-goggles to the giant disco balls that reflect swaying spots of light on the dancefloor, creating the disorientating effect of motion when standing still.
We were lucky enough to be booked for this opulent wedding reception by the wonderful Ryan and Tomasina, for whom we played a delicate reworking of Blur’s To The End as first dance.
This being the first Rebel Party wedding of 2016, we were super excited to get back in the van to tell the same old jokes and quote the same lines from Alan Partridge as we always do.
However we were only 75% of a unit travelling down the M40, as our fearless frontman and perpetual party-starter, Pete was actually a guest at this wedding.
Now, to rewind four years or so ago when we formed and purchased all our gear together, there was quite a bone of contention over the colour of the mic leads that we bought. I’m not really sure why, but we somehow ended up with diamond white coloured leads.
I know what you’re thinking; why does it matter? And, I’d be inclined to agree with you, I couldn’t really care less what hue they are as long as they work, and they do, very well in fact. However, Pete was and still is very much pro-white mic leads, whereas Lottie was firmly in the anti-white mic leads camp and shows no sign whatsoever of changing his stance. He HATES the white mic leads almost as much as I hate the fact that Waitrose at Warwick Services on the M40 was shut on the way home: LIVID. Shut at 12.30am on Good Friday? Really, I ask you.
Anyway, as Pete, his lovely wife Emma and beautiful baby son were enjoying themselves at the request of Tomasina and Ryan, it meant he missed out on the enviable tasks of picking up the hire van, loading loads of heavy gear into said van, driving for two hours, hanging around waiting to load in, carrying in loads of heavy gear and setting it all up in order to be ready for soundcheck on time without disturbing any guests or venue staff.
Lottie, spotting an opportunity while Pete was elsewhere, made the executive though-somewhat-controversial decision to connect all our microphones with some BLACK leads.
So, with the stage set for soundcheck, Pete arrives fully fed and with a two-glasses-of-wine-glow, microphone in hand, turns to Lottie and I with a look of perplexment on his hirsute face. In a tone of disillusionment, he asks; ‘Where are the white mic leads?’
It’s a good job Pete is an impeccable frontman.